List Poem B-3 High heels Binderwith sketches Eyes changing color with mood Lipgloss waiting to be used Pencil working frantically Books hidden in bookbag Stickynotes everywhere Bracelets hitting table Nailpolish on dresser A nice top Earrings bouncing around I.R.W
You have some nice images here. "books hidden in bookbag" reminds me of you! I'm wondering if you will work on the organization a bit. Look at how you have grouped your items - do you think you should change the order you mention them? Think about it.
Blonde Hair Hazel Eyes Eyeliner-Coverup-LIPGLOSS Perfectionist Writing & drawing Converse about every day iPod Docking Station Black Berry Brick Breaker Crazy-Goofy-Loud Laughter Straight A Student MGH
wears black underarmor with a splash of color on his face hes got an image in his head it cureses him his dad he dont know he wishes he did , poor amazing artist got no memories of a beautiful picture he can be a geek if he wanted its funny how dark his hair is it kinda matches his eyes like Mrs. Heim you could tell he is a purple guy all hes got are broken pencils like memories
RKLW - You have some powerful lines in your poem, and they tug at heart. I can't wait to read more of your writing. Do you think you need some punctuation in this piece?
7:31 am still in bed get up beadhead. Dark room muted tv headphones in ear so I could hear music fell asleep 2 minutes into song midnight. Pulling out headphones out of bed feel like dread
Strawberry blond hair with strawberry blond bangs falling into eyes. Sometimes green sometimes blue eyes. Dark Blue Abercrombie shirt. A smile from ear to ear. Photos all around my room. An old style radio playing my favorite, Peyton Sanders. Pairs of torn and worn Converse all over my floor My iPod and phone lighting up every now and then. My journal waiting to be filled with secrets or new songs. And Me. Ready to start off the day.
My phone that is alwase buzzing from a new text The dribbling basketball in my hands for me to control The drama that makes my friends slip away out of my hands My baby blue eyes that sparkle in the sun. The smiles I get when i say "Hi" The flute i play everyday as my fingers mover like lightning makeing a WONDERFUL sound for the world to hear. All these things that make me...ME!
List Poem B-3
ReplyDeleteHigh heels
Binderwith sketches
Eyes changing color with mood
Lipgloss waiting to be used
Pencil working frantically
Books hidden in bookbag
Stickynotes everywhere
Bracelets hitting table
Nailpolish on dresser
A nice top
Earrings bouncing around
I.R.W
IRW -
DeleteYou have some nice images here. "books hidden in bookbag" reminds me of you! I'm wondering if you will work on the organization a bit. Look at how you have grouped your items - do you think you should change the order you mention them? Think about it.
List Poem
ReplyDeleteBlonde Hair
Hazel Eyes
Eyeliner-Coverup-LIPGLOSS
Perfectionist
Writing & drawing
Converse about every day
iPod
Docking Station
Black Berry
Brick Breaker
Crazy-Goofy-Loud Laughter
Straight A Student
MGH
MGH -
DeleteI like the shape of your poem; it kinda helps build a rhythm when you read it out loud.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteMy Life
ReplyDeletewears black underarmor
with a splash of color on his face
hes got an image in his head it cureses him
his dad he dont know
he wishes he did , poor amazing artist
got no memories of a beautiful picture
he can be a geek if he wanted
its funny how dark his hair is
it kinda matches his eyes like Mrs. Heim
you could tell he is a purple guy
all hes got are broken pencils like memories
RKLW -
DeleteYou have some powerful lines in your poem, and they tug at heart. I can't wait to read more of your writing. Do you think you need some punctuation in this piece?
7:31 am
ReplyDeletestill in bed
get up beadhead.
Dark room muted tv headphones in ear
so I could hear music
fell asleep 2 minutes into song midnight.
Pulling out headphones out of bed
feel like dread
EM - I love the lines "get up beadhead" and your final line, "feel like dread". I'm wondering if you're going to work on this piece some more.
DeleteMy List Poem(:
ReplyDeleteStrawberry blond hair
with strawberry blond bangs falling into eyes.
Sometimes green sometimes blue eyes.
Dark Blue Abercrombie shirt.
A smile from ear to ear.
Photos all around my room.
An old style radio playing my favorite,
Peyton Sanders.
Pairs of torn and worn Converse all over my floor
My iPod and phone lighting up every now and then.
My journal waiting to be filled with secrets or new songs.
And Me. Ready to start off the day.
CPH2
List Poem
ReplyDeleteMy phone
that is alwase buzzing from a new text
The dribbling basketball
in my hands for me to control
The drama that
makes my friends slip away
out of my hands
My baby blue eyes
that sparkle in the sun.
The smiles I get when i say "Hi"
The flute i play everyday
as my fingers mover like lightning
makeing a WONDERFUL sound
for the world to hear.
All these things that make me...ME!